We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

t​.​i​.​a​.​p​.​f​.​y​.​h.

by Left At London

supported by
wdboldstar
wdboldstar thumbnail
wdboldstar Her beats give me a weird nostalgia for listening to oldies with my dad, and her lyrics are a battle cry for all the neurodivergent queers struggling to survive in a world actively hostile to them. Favorite track: The Ballad of Marion Zioncheck.
Vivy-NX
Vivy-NX thumbnail
Vivy-NX my favorite Left at London release. Pills and Good Advice is like 10 minutes long on its own, a little under a third of the whole album's runtime, but it's all killer and no filler, and the rest of the tracks are no different. heartfelt, somber, and impactful, through the whole album. Favorite track: Pills & Good Advice.
digboye
digboye thumbnail
digboye it hurts so good! Favorite track: there is a place for you here..
more... more...
/
1.
On my first day out, My familiar town Felt the same as in my dreams Crying in my sleep, When the sun came down, Thinking “I am cured, it seems,” But, I don’t know my name at all But what else is new, oo-ooh, oo-ooh, oo-ooh Should I show my pain at all? If you only knew, You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I have left; Pills & good advice (You could try to help Care is imprecise All that I have left…) (I need to steal something I need to feel something I need to dream something I need to be something I need to get better I got to get better I used to be better But I could never be them again) Cure me if you can, Say I’ll be okay, I don’t mind if it’s a lie I can burn this bridge, It could be today, But you’d know the reason why (Where are you right now?) Please hold me down Please let me drown Please hold me down Please let me drown & I know that somethings missing Or rather, something else is there I spend the day existing You spend it being unaware The times I wake up smiling Feel like I’m making fun of you I left the ER crying So what’s the use in trying now? Please let me down Don’t let me drown Please let me down Don’t let me drown I need to steal something I need to feel something I need to dream something I need to be something I need to get better I got to get better I used to be better But I could never be them again I need a sign & I’ll be fine (The straighter the line, the more it’s manmade) Circles confine us by design (But at least the 3D printers handmade) I need a sine & I’ll be fine (The straighter the line, the more it’s manmade) Circles confine us by design (But at least the 3D printers handmade) I’ve been building off of you, I’ve been texting on the freeway just to talk to you & I know you wouldn’t want me to But I know if any later, you won’t follow through Yeah “& I have noticed you’ve had it hard Even since the attack And I would take you up to the stars If I knew you'd be back & I have noticed you’ve had it hard Even since the attack And I would take you up to the stars If I knew you'd be back” (Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o Middle-ay, middle-ay o middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay middle-ay o) & even though I know it’s been hard I could never go back If everything were better, Then I’m sure i’d be A little less emotional I never really understood Whats wrong with me Or why I’m unapproachable But every time I close my eyes, You’re lookin’ quite like my mirror, I’m plagiarizing everything, Stuttering soliloquies (Who am I/are you again?) Is this the storm Before the calm? Is it the clock or just The ticking of the bomb? We sacrifice What we both need But if i fight for you, Then how do we proceed? & if you fight for me, Then how do we proceed? & if we fight again then how do we proceed? (I’ve been building off of you, I’ve been texting on the freeway just to talk to you & I know you wouldn’t want me to But I know if any later, you won’t follow through Yeah I’ve been building off of you, I’ve been texting on the freeway just to talk to you & I know you wouldn’t want me to) So now I’m telling ‘em Do you understand? Do you understand? Do you understand? Cuz right now, doesn’t seem like you can Start to climb, & then I get a little higher I’m a coward, it don’t matter what I do, From “I can’t do it anymore” to “I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” Told myself I wanna die, So how am I supposed to prove it now? Spend too many of my minutes getting higher I’ve attempted way too much to even count, I’ve been committed, but committed to the people that I love & if I try to love myself, I guess that I could live forever crying So Don’t cry for me, For I’ve found peace in the madness Peace in the madness Don’t cry for me, For I’ve found peace in the madness Peace in the madness Again (Don’t cry for me, For I’ve found peace in the madness Peace in the madness Don’t cry for me, For I’ve found peace in the madness Peace in the madness) For now but on my last day out, Let me scream to God, Family, friends & enemies, “So what happens next? Is this what you want? All I am is dead to me” So I can’t hear my voice at all What was I to do? Did I have a choice at all? Seems I never do You could try to help Care is imprecise All that you’d have left; Pills & good advice I could try to heal Care is imprecise All that I’d have left; Pills & good advice
2.
Marion, born december 5th, a sagittarius, Mother & father, 2 little sisters, all were immigrants, America was waiting for you America was waiting for you Marion’s fam’ly saw his humor as absurdity Nevertheless, he joined the local university & studied for a third of his life He studied for a third of his life & passed the bar He was a lawyer working for free & was fervid in speech All of the workers That he’d protect say he practiced what he preached Hated the mayor, so he petitioned to recall the guy For he attempted selling off Seattle City Light, two hundred thousand names on the form two hundred thousand names on the form He, with the people on his side, became a congressman Winning a district often taken by republicans To Washington from Washington state To Washington from Washington state At 32 When re-elected, Everyone loved him Except for his peers A coalition Set on his downfall Would form in his last years He married a woman he knew for a week cuz he couldn’t wait Took part in a riot while still on his honeymoon They took him away in a jacket to the sanitarium Declared as insane, jumped the fence of the place, & soon returning home, announced his re-election Then called the campaign off again Almost as if becoming lesser like yourself had been an art, Marion, less subdued & sober, saw the world observe him fall apart He wrote a note & left his window several stories high Landed abruptly near the car his wife was waiting by They say she changed the day that he died They say she changed the day that he died & in the note, he said his only hope in life had been That he’d improve upon the way the world was living in But people only knew him as strange The people only knew him as strange And nothing more Were you a genius, Were you a fool, or in need of a cure? Was it in anger, Was it in fear, or had it been in fervor? All of the quirks we used to have are now a symptom of Acronyms we don’t get to know that we’re the victims of Then people say that we’ll never change & so, of course we don’t ever change But still, we try
3.
Take a little food & water I can let you share the shelter Maybe this’ll help you find your faith In mankind that you lost Hope you ‘preciate the offer, I just hope you’re feeling better Maybe we can burn the bridge we’ll take to get there when it’s crossed (I) know you’ve been abused & I know you’re confused, Cuz we both got some bruises that We’d rather not reveal & if you’re feeling scared, Or simply unprepared, It doesn’t matter where we end up I know we can heal We may never have a say in how to get there But a remedy is waiting for us elsewhere If we never know the way or how to reach it Then we’ll get there whenever we can Rather prepared But a little unplanned I wanna feel like I’m strong enough But now I feel like I’ve had enough I’ve tried to do it on my own to no avail, I Thought that I had failed, till I met you I used to think I wasn’t good enough You let me know I was & sure enough, Now that I know I’m not alone, I can prevail, & All that may entail, I won’t forget to We may never have a say in how to get there But a remedy is waiting for us elsewhere If we never know the way or how to reach it Then we’ll get there whenever we can Rather prepared But a little unplanned We may never have a say in how to get there But a remedy is waiting for us elsewhere If we never know the way or how to reach it Then we’ll get there whenever we can Rather prepared But a little unplanned When I say I Needed someone Didn’t know it was you & If I try to live beside you It gets easy to do When I say I Needed someone Didn’t know it was you & If I try to live beside you It gets easy to do
4.
(This one's called "Out Of My Mind." Hey listen, Johnny, you got anything to drink over there? Hang on, hang on a sec. It's called "Out Of My Mind," it's a story about being insane.) Now at a point I could’ve been less concerned, Started feeling evil, That’s not the word, Maybe if i meditated on it, I would find it, But I can’t find it (& I don’t need that shit) Now at a point, I would’ve been a bit cautious Talking to myself, until it feels obnoxious (ah) Way too honest, till I’m talking unconscious Started getting nauseous (& I don’t need that shit) There’s nothing I can do Cuz that’s all I’m good for So when will I get to breathe? Cuz that’s all I hope for Now here it comes, I see it amongst the clouds, It’s another falling piece of the sky, If you could know all of what I’m seeing now, Then I guess you would say I’m out of my mind But they never ask why so, There’s nothing I can do Cuz that’s all I’m good for So when will I get to breathe? Cuz that’s all I hope for (Save me) There’s nothing I can do Cuz that’s all I’m good for So when will I get to breathe? Cuz that’s all I hope for Now everybody get your hand out, I’m about to be attentive company Say I got your gun, I got your gun, & leave suddenly I load it up, now I’m stimming with the safety Why doesn’t god ever praise me? So get your hand out, I’m about to be attentive company Say I got your gun, I got your gun, & leave suddenly I load it up, now I’m stimming with the safety Why doesn’t god ever praise me? (peace)
5.
1am, I’m losing all my patience, 2am, I swear I hit my stride 3am, I’m waking up the neighbors 4am, the muse in me has died But All I know is how to be perceived (I don’t really love you back, I don’t really love you back, yeah) Frankly I don’t know what to believe (I don’t really love like that, I don’t really love like that) & I wanna know the future Don’t tell me how it ends, though If I come off as a loser, it’s only cuz I said so I’ve been good, It’s been good, But I know, It could be better It could be better It could be better, better, better. It could be better It could be better (ooh) It could be better It could be better It could be better, better, better. It could be better It could be better But it never is though, Man, I’ve only been to san francisco I could win a emmy, I could win an grammy & an oscar, ’n all I’d have is my ego, Living the dream Sleeping through the nightmares …in the studio, Spending all my nights there Might as well… Man, I might as well… & I wanna know the future Don’t tell me how it ends, though If I come off as a loser, it’s only cuz I said so I’ve been good, It’s been good, But I know, It could be better It could be better It could be better, better, better. It could be better It could be better (ooh) It could be better It could be better It could be better, better, better. It could be better It could be better (I know what you want, You want to kill me!) (You’re crazy… Take it easy, kid I just wanna talk to ya) Don’t stop now Carry on Heaven is a place we don’t belong So if You Don’t obey, Why’d you even come here anyway? Don’t stop now Carry on Heaven is a place we don’t belong So if You Don’t obey, Why’d you even come here anyway?
6.
Kudzu 04:13
Is it greener where you are now Do you need it to be green I could take over your garden I just need to be seen Is it beautiful, your garden? Are there flowers where you stand? Do you need them to be hidden? I could give you a hand Could I stay one More Night Until I go home It’s just one More Night I swear I’ll be gone after that, Till you come crawling back to me next (Shit… Fucked up in the crib Talking to myself Fucked up in the crib Talking to my- Talking to myself Fucked up in the crib Talking to myself But what is myself If I’m just trillions of single cells? Fucked up in the crib Talking to myself Fucked up in the crib Talking to my- Talking to myself Fucked up in the crib Talking to myself But what is myself If I’m just trillions of single cells?) Now I’ve been in therapy half my life & I feel the same I feel insane, daily & I would do whatever just to get me through & it Doesn’t really work, like, that but it helps, If you wanted dishonesty, You better see someone else Believe me, I get it, I’ve been struggling too Not the greatest way to heal But it’s something to do Until I’m put aside Contrary to popular belief, I tried Eh I’m terrified One day I might know if it was Justified Eh (Came from the dirt, That’s where we’re going back Came from the dirt, That’s where we’re going back Came from the dirt, That’s where we’re going back Grew it from the ground, So hell yeah you know I’m Smoking that) …My friends are addicts, Some are still, but some got sober & I wanna say I’m jealous, but it’s been three days without, & now I’m over it I was so sure that I’d be cured as I got older, But it’s been 300 years, & I Still feel bitter, scared, & inconsiderate I’m put aside Contrary to popular belief, I tried Eh I’m terrified One day I might know if it was Justified Eh (Shit… They never ask how the fuck he is, you know? Shit.)
7.
Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Meant to be, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Destiny, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Meant to be, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Destiny, yeah Listen to the world, It’s speaking Everything it says, That’s up to you Listen to the words It’s seeking Never meant to be your Point of view “How you’re gonna shine like that?” Why you gotta be so dim? I’m just tryna see me Singing on the TV Even if the chance is slim “How you’re gonna live like this?” How you’re gonna live yourself? I’ve been hurting too, but Nothing would improve much Even if I killed myself “How you’re gonna act so sure?” Not like that I got much left I could cut my wrists up, I could put my fists up, Either way, I can’t cheat death I don’t wanna live, that’s fine, Cuz the years will still go by, & I don’t wanna miss them I don’t wanna miss them I don’t wanna miss them Not this time Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Meant to be, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Destiny, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Meant to be, yeah Wishbones Don’t break for me If I get it I’ll believe that it was Destiny, yeah (I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive, I’m still alive,) I lived bitch! Okay, that’s it, goodbye

credits

released June 4, 2021

Additional mixing help by Jamvis & Ashley Ninelives
Additional art by Lindsay Small-Butera
Recorded at Shoreline Art Cottage & St. Cranes
Mastering for vinyl by: Nick Townsend
Partnered with Fourth Strike
Partially funded by the City of Shoreline Public Art Program

license

all rights reserved

tags

Left At London recommends:

If you like Left At London, you may also like: