Santa's Homophobic (ft. Dominique "SonicFox" McLean & SungWon Cho)

by Left At London

/
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about

Charity holiday novelty single! All profits go towards Seattle Counseling Service. "Founded in 1969, Seattle Counseling Service is proud to be the oldest LGBTQ-focused community mental health agency in the world."

You can also donate directly at seattlecounseling.org/donate

lyrics

[Spoken]
/@/: Oh hey, look, it’s Santa’s sleigh!
SonicFox: Oh wow!
/@/: & he’s coming towards our house! I wonder what he’s gonna-
SonicFox: Huh?
/@/: Wait a sec... He just flew right past us... Oh god, not this again. Im gonna have a panic attack.
SonicFox: What’s wrong?
/@/: Whats wrong?! Santa’s not gonna give me gifts again this year!
SonicFox: Why?
/@/: I guess he just doesn’t like us gays.

[Sung]
Dear Santa, when I was younger
You’d send me gifts every year
But Santa, since last December
I wanna make some things clear
I asked for

A new pair of doc’s,
& a sword, & some poppers
But nothing is under the tree

So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can’t do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
just because I am LGBT

Dear Santa, what is the deal?
Have you since found out I’m gay?
My proof may be circumstantial
But It’s what I gotta say
I asked for

A Nintendo switch
Even though I’m a bottom,
But no presents are to be found

So where the hell are my presents?
Santa, help me out
I can’t do without
Is this some sick kind of vengeance
You have out for me
just because I am LGBT

Santa’s ho-ho-homophobic (Ah!)
Santa’s ho-ho-homophobic (You know it you know it)
Santa’s ho-ho-homophobic (& he’s probably transphobic too!)
Santa Claus hates the gays

[Spoken]
Santa: Ho ho ho!
/@/: Wait, Santa?
Santa: Yes! It is I! The one & onl-
/@/: Oh, shut the hell up you homophobe!
Santa: Ho-ho-hold on just a sec! I’m not homophobic. Homophobes go on the naughty list!
/@/: Then why didnt i get any gifts again this year?
Santa: Well, did you register your change of address?
/@/: Wait, you’re supposed to do that?
Santa: Well, congratulations, you twit. Everybody thinks i’m homophobic now... You have to understand, this is some serious naughty-list type behavior.
/@/: Oh god... what have i done? I’ve cancelled santa...
Santa: Now if you’ll excuse me, I guess I have to take your gifts back to the north pole
/@/: Wait a sec! Don’t take back my gifts- hold on, is that Frank Ocean vinyl?
Santa: Yup! Blond. First pressing.
/@/: Oh god...
Santa: But it’s going back up on discogs.
/@/: Oh....
Santa: Happy holidays, Left at London! Ho ho ho!
/@/: Wait wait wait no!

credits

released December 14, 2019
Crowd vocals by:
Aardy Wolf
Marcosa Opulencia
Elise
Alexa Berriochoa
Olive Dwight
Fruitless Worship
Mousey
Neva Swindle
Joy Carter
Mary Sprague
Jeane Robles
Maria San
Eric Moon
Ellis Younts
Coughing Up C ;)
Shailohe

Mixed & mastered by Lilian Davis

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all rights reserved

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about

Left At London Seattle, Washington

Left At London (sometimes stylized and shortened as /@/), is the stage name of Nat Puff (she/her), a trans woman from Seattle, Washington who is not afraid to let herself be known intimately through her music, while still remaining accessible.

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